How Do You Have A Difficult Conversation With A Nanny?
The key to having a difficult conversation with a nanny is to reframe it as a constructive discussion. Conflict is inevitable, so consider this an opportunity to touch base and understand each other's point of view.
Some of the notable causes of conflict between parents and nannies are;
Ineffective communication: You may prefer a direct approach, while your nanny may be very diplomatic. This could cause you to come off confrontational, while you may perceive them to be ingenious.
Different disciplinary methods: Even if you and your nanny share the same disciplinary philosophy, your methods may differ. For instance, you may prefer a timeout, while your nanny may lean towards talking through issues with your child.
Micromanaging parents: There is a difference between ensuring your kids are getting the best care possible and micromanaging your nanny. In such a situation, your caregiver will feel their abilities are being questioned or that you don’t fully trust them.
Unreliable Nannies: There are instances where nannies do not show up without prior notice. In addition, some caregivers may break household rules and relationship boundaries which can cause some friction.
Despite the cause of conflict, resolution is possible as long as you do it the right way. Here are 5 tips to help you have a difficult conversation with your nanny;
Identify the problem
Practice what to say
Be clear about your feelings
Listen actively
Collaborate on the solution
1). Identify the problem
It's important for you to really consider what might be the source of the issue with your nanny. For instance, you might think the problem is lateness, but there could be an unknown reason for this, such as an undisclosed health condition.
2). Practice what to say
Having a difficult conversation with your nanny can be nerve-wracking, especially at first. So, you can practice what you need to say; start by acknowledging your nanny’s efforts in caring for your child before addressing the problem.
3). Be clear about your feelings
Your feelings are valid, so you must speak about the situation openly and honestly. How did the situation affect you? Did it make you angry? Sad? Disappointed? Calmly stating how you feel will help your nanny understand your point of view better.
4). Listen actively
Remember that you're a team working together to provide the best care for your child. So, you must listen to their point of view and acknowledge their feelings as well. Be open-minded when coming to a resolution.
5). Collaborate on the solution
State your suggestions and be ready to listen to their advice, too. You don't necessarily have to take their suggestions unless it is the best for your child and your working relationship with your nanny. However, be sure that you're clear about what you want. Ultimately, as the parent, your wishes must be respected.
Having difficult conversations with your nanny can be tricky, but remember, you're in this together! With empathy and communication, you'll strengthen your bond and create a nurturing environment for your family.
Welcome to Sommet Nannies, a nanny agency with presence in Boston, Chicago, Washington DC, New York and nationwide. We help busy families find dedicated and caring college-educated nannies.
● If you enjoyed this article, you might also like ‘What to look for in a nanny position’ and ‘How should a nanny say goodbye?’.
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